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Blinkist Book Summaries

Win Friends/Influence people

  1. Do not criticize
  2. Smile
  3. Show appreciation frequently

    • Ralph Waldo Emerson, who said that every person he met was superior to him in certain ways, so there was always something to learn from and appreciate in other people.
    • Show appreciation by talking about what’s important to them
  4. Be interested in others if you want to be interesting yourself (listen to others)
  5. Remember things that people tell them, remember names and birthdays

    • Remember and frequently use another’s name
  6. Avoid all arguments that cannot be won

    • Interact only when emotional reaction has dissipated
  7. Never tell others that they are wrong as they will only resent you
  8. Whenever you are wrong, admit it immediately and clearly
  9. To be convincing get others to say yes as often as possible
  10. Emphasise shared interests

Braving the Wilderness

  1. Learn how to feel less like an outsider by better understanding yourself
  2. We are looking for a sense of belonging and true belonging means belonging to yourself and no one else

Come as you are

Homology

Every human being starts with the same basic body parts, these parts simply arrange themselves differently from person to person.

  • In all cases, the genital material is made of the same sensitive tissue that’s so prone to stimulation. This fact also explains why men have nipples: all humans begin with the same basic parts, and since women need nipples, men get them too.

Sexual gas pedal

The human brain has both a sexual gas pedal, which is pushed by sexual stimulation, and sexual brakes that get pumped when a threat arises. For instance, any sensory perception from a smell to a sound to a thought can tell your brain that sex isn’t a good idea. Your brain responds by slamming on the sexual brakes, prompting you to say “not tonight, honey.”

Orgasms

Most orgasm-related issues have to do with overly activated sexual brakes or a sensitiveinhibitory system regarding sex. The problem is that being concerned or frustrated about climaxing can make your brain slam on the brakes even harder, producing a vicious cycle.

A woman’s potential to orgasm through vaginal intercourse is often predetermined by the distance between the clitoris and the urethra.

The Science of Kissing

Premastication

The process of feeding mouth-to-mouth, was the most practical way to feed babies and toddlers for thousands of years, which also biologically linked positive feelings with lip contact.

The X Kiss

In the Middle Ages, it was often used to seal a contract. The spot on the contract that was to be kissed by the concerned parties was marked with an “x”, just like we use “x’s” for kisses in online chats today.

MHC Genes

One group of genes that play a key role in our immune system is MHC genes, which help us distinguish our own cells from foreign attackers. The more diverse our MHC genes are, the stronger our immune system.

Your MHC genes are a combination of your parents’ MHC genes. As a result, two parents with very divergent MHC genes produce offspring with an even stronger immune system.

  • All of this means that we naturally prefer mates with smell indicating that their MHC genes are very different than ours.

Study

Claus Wedekind did a famous study of this phenomenon in 1995. He had female participants smell t-shirts worn by different men and select the shirt with the smell they found most attractive.

  • The women subconsciously picked shirts from men with MHC gene sets that were the most different from their own.

Summary

Kissing is part of our biology and evolution, which is why it’s so fundamental in both humans and animals. It strengthens our social bonds, makes us healthier and happier, helps us find suitable mates and encourages us to reproduce and further our species.

Build anticipation. If you get to know someone and foster anticipation with them before you kiss, you build up your dopamine, which creates a more rewarding experience when the kiss finally does happen.